Burning Pages

Burn the Pages

By: Dorothy Enriquez

I tried my best and my relationship still failed. I would try again, sure. I want to get married, have a partner in crime and even have a baby someday. But, I have some singed pages in my dating career booklet following me around saying, ‘You’re the common denominator’. Well of course I’m the common denominator in my own life. Just because it failed doesn’t mean it didn’t work.

I don’t know about you but I’m at a point where my Dating Resume can’t define my future dating decisions. I have decided to burn the pages but not without taking self-inventory first. I took a look back and conducted an interpersonal after action review. I explored my actions and held myself accountable from a place of love and positive course correction. Even when you’re holding others accountable, you hold them close first. So, the same would be fair as you take a look through your dating pages. The blessing is that the story isn’t done and you have complete power to determine what you’ll do next. I’ve burned the pages.   

I’m over thinking about what Mr. Messed Up did or didn’t do. His actions are irrelevant because he isn’t the one I spend my weekends with or speak to every evening. Mr. Messed Up was a stepping stone, a learning opportunity and an exercise in patience.  

Yes, I’m the common denominator in all of my failed relationships. And yes, in every one of them I could have done something differently. I could have been more understanding, compassionate, loving, thoughtful—whatever I wasn’t doing with an intentional or unintentional heart. I could have turned myself inside out to be the best single wife Mr. Right Now could have imagined. But why pour into him all I have to offer if he won’t refill my life glass?

I want to pull out all the stops for Mr. Right. I want him to get the best of me. Every failed relationship has helped me take one more step towards being the woman God intended me to be. And knowing that makes me grateful to be the common denominator. So cheers to you and I and all of the relationships that didn’t work. Your past and mine should be an irrelevant computation for our future dating success. I just need one man to help me get it right. Just one. So here’s a future forward toast to Mr. Right; to the one who will help me reflect the best of him when he looks at me. #burnthepages

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  1. Candace Lelo
    Candace Lelo03-18-2015

    Great article Dorothy. I’m an over thinker and have the propensity to analyze the hell out of a failed relationship. I feel that It’s important to take accountability for what part you had in a break up but one must also know that every relationship has a lesson you can take from it…even if it doesn’t end up as we originally hoped or planned.

    • admin

      Thanks Candace! And yes, I am the queen of over analyzing…and many women tend to ruminate and drive ourselves crazy by doing a nose dive into the abyss of crazy. But, the accountability piece is the key to change. Because I think it’s so easy to blame him when doesn’t act right. And as long as we’re learning we’re learning, we aren’t failing. But as Robin Roberts said on Oprah’s Master Class is: Set the goals, but be flexible in those goals and how you get there.

  2. Maja

    perfectly said

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