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Long Distance Dating vs. Love

Photo Credit: singleblackmale.org

Making it Work

Thirty was closing in on me like a pack of women eyeballing the last discounted Michael Kors bag at Nordy’s. My gal pals and I were watching the clock. And we were watching men—much like how women watch for flash sales and discounts—with fierce anticipation and expectation. I wasn’t desperate…I was just single.

Curious when love would come, I had no idea what the next two years would bring. And out of the sky dropped a man who was everything I had prayed about in secret and talked about out loud. He was sweet, attentive, and just the right height. There was only one catch—he was 807.8 miles away.

With no long distance dating experience, I thought, how hard could it be?

The beginning was beautiful. We all know beginnings well. We connected on many levels. Enjoyed one another’s company whenever we were together. Met the families after a few months. It was perfect. Then we got to know each other.

I am a planner with a slight case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He’s easygoing, friendly with a slight touch of smart-ass (just the way I like them). Our differences drew us together and tested our patience in distance.

Now, we’re 14 months in and I am just as in love with him now as I was when I first read the romantic poem he sent me before we sealed the deal.

How did we do it? What’s kept us together all this time?

Here’s what’s worked for us so far:

1) Talking Often – Not a day goes by that we don’t talk, FACETIME- something to keep the ball rolling.

2) Willing to Fight About it, Then Move On – You’re far away and can’t really make up anyway, let it go.

3) Be Expressive – Constantly. We love each other, we’re grateful; we never want to be apart (say it everyday if you can)

4) See Each Other OftenWhenever you can cross the distance, do so. Cuddling cuts out half of the stress in any relationship (especially distance)

5) Make Your Own FUN – My honey and I have developed our own rituals in our relationship that keep us connected long distance.

6) Say Sorry – Not going to bed angry is one thing, but getting off the phone angry only leads to more arguing later. Kiss, makeup, move on.

Have you ever done a long distance love? How did it work for you? Leave a comment below!

Send us me thoughts, tips, and questions to Shayla@dotmagazineonline.com to be included in the Distance vs. Love series!

Happy Holidays dolls!

-Shayla Courtney

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