Bed Sheets

What A Man’s Sheets Say About Him

By: Jonnie Enriquez

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After a few dates and seemingly out of nowhere comes the invite….to his house. A dwelling place often times described as the cave or leer is where your John D. Wonderful rests his head, eats many meals and finds solace and entertainment. What the house looks like will assist you in determining what type of lifestyle Mr. Wonderful lives, but the most important information a woman can find would be to look at a man’s bed sheets. We have all been in this positions where we found ourselves assessing, wondering and recalibrating, if necessary.

Many women have drunkenly laid their head on the pillow of the man they’re dating to wake up with gum in their hair wondering what the hell that smell is (which is now also cause for an immediate wash and blow dry).

You have awakened to an insatiable itch or, heaven forbid, a rash. How is it men and women can have such different sleeping habits?

Men, what’s WITH the one set of constantly rewashed sheets? You know which ones I’m talking about—the pair you got from your parents’ house and somehow never had the means to replace even with that college degree and snazzy job? Please inform me as to why you only have one pillow? And YES I know you only have one head.

Long story short, no woman should ever enter your home feeling like if she lies in your bed she’ll catch the same infection she swore was going to bite her ass sitting on your toilet! Here is a helpful tip to ensure all species of the womanly sort have a fighting chance at enjoying her stay:

  • Ensure your bed is clean–that means washed before she arrive
  • A set of 300+ thread count sheets so her skin does not fall off from sleeping on something equivalent to particle board (no using the sheets from your childhood twin).
  • A fitted sheet, flat sheet, comforter, and at least two comfortable pillows. Hint: one would be for her.

These simple tips will allow any woman to feel more comfortable when in your home and prevent you from being the topic of discussion along with the ‘guy who had one ply toilet paper in his house’—but that’s another story for another time!

Ladies, is this an article you’ll need to share with your brother friends or your man? What has your experience been like when lying on sheets of the opposite sex? Leave a comment below!

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